Firecracker and Daddy
Having three, we have talked about how we want to make sure we do solo adventures one on one with each kid. I have done several things with Twirl. He is the most interested and frankly the easiest to take shopping, so he has gone many trips with me shopping for clothes for all three kids. He also is the one currently not requiring a nap which logistically makes it easier to take him out places and not be pressured to get back for nap time. Firecracker is now four and perfectly capable of skipping a nap, and has a very adventurous spirit about her. She deserves some stuff just for her.
Firecracker at her first lesson
In January we started her in karate. Twirl had tried this when he was younger but was not into it. He really just looked like he was dancing out there and had most fun when there was music playing, so we made the decision to try him in dance. He thrived, and has been so happy. He came with me to Firecracker's first karate lesson. As soon as she got out there he said he wanted to do it again. I was shocked. Why does he suddenly have interest in this activity that he had zero interest in the day before. I never want to assume that any of them will do one activity for the rest of their lives, I want them to be able to try anything they find an interest in. As we sat through the lesson he inquired again if he could do karate. I told him that it would mean quitting dance. This was met by a puzzled "why can't I just do both?" It then dawned on me that this is the first time one of his siblings was doing something solo, and then it started to make sense. Jealousy. Not in a super envious way, but it was a new thing for him not to be the one getting the attention. We talked about only having one activity for now and he of course chose dance.
Twirl on the trampoline with dance moves
A few weeks go by and I thought about doing a little mother daughter outing with Firecracker. She loves pretty things and loves having her toenails painted so I immediately thought about taking her out for pedicures. Oh but, Twirl would love to have a pedicure so we should take him too. This is where being an advocate for my son, empowering him to be confident in who he is goes over the line. I am so conscious of trying to make sure he gets to do all these things because we aren't against them I forget that he doesn't HAVE to do them every time. It is perfectly ok for me to put her first and just take her even if it is something he would love too. There are going to be plenty of activities that we choose to do that all kids will enjoy but it doesn't mean they all three get to do it.
our third child, the adventurous Tornado
Now of course this isn't a huge deal and all basically happening in my head, but I am glad I caught it. So far Firecracker doesn't show any signs of screaming "Marsha Marsha Marsha" and I am thankful for that. But just like every other child in this world, they have to learn that it isn't always their turn. Sometimes it's ok that he doesn't go along on these things, not because it isn't for him as a boy but because it is for her as my daughter.