Twirl and Firecracker
This past week I participated in a consignment sale. I love this sale. Not only does it have tons of clothes, but I can score costumes, books, and art supplies. This sale went pretty well. I got TONS of great clothes for Firecracker, including sundresses which are her favorite. For Tornado they didn't have as much this time, surprising because the 24month/2t is usually completely packed. The last few sales I have not had much luck with clothes for Twirl. Being in the bigger sizes the clothes tend to have sports, comic book heroes, or something to do with rock n roll. Those just aren't his style so we will be going to H&M for him. After I had scoured the sections for all three of them I had a wagon full and was ready to check out. I start unloading my loot, laying down a Pinkalicous book (for Firecracker) and a fashion sketch book (for Twirl). The volunteer who was checking me out picks up both those items and asks "How old is your daughter?" "My daughter is 4 and my son is 6. The fashion book is for him" I said. She looks at me , "oh well it could be worse"
"Anything would be worse because he is awesome" was my response.
It felt like forever for her to finish checking me out, time we spent in silence. I was fuming, and not for my kid as much as for others. The kids who might actually be around when someone nonchalantly says something like this to their parent. My kid has a hard enough time knowing he is different. He doesn't need adults to point him out and judge him for it.
"It could be worse" seriously, you say that to someones mother?? Isn't it obvious that I don't have a problem with this since I am buying items that support his interests? Is it so acceptable to be this scared of a boy liking something that is considered feminine? I wonder what labels she was wearing and what men actually designed them.
And while this woman made me furious, I think it's also important to remember how awesome people can be, who absolutely make up for the ones who are ignorant. I can't tell you how many times adults have remarked about how stylish or cool Twirl's pink glasses are. He gets lots of attention for his love of fashion and dressing up in bow ties. It is so great for him to be noticed he is different in a positive way and not just "that's ok" kind of way. And if it is a little over the top and he starts to get an ego, well I can live with that much more so than a kid who grows up hating himself.
I wish people would express as much concern about someones character as they do for their clothes or who they love. So make your judgements all you want about how I am parenting my kid, but the assumption that I will feel the same ignorant way you do is completely unacceptable.